Dear Johannesburg - How you doing?

First published on the John Dory on April 4, 2009

Hey beautiful - It's been a while I know. I have been going through some shit. Nothing much has really changed in my life since the last time we spoke. Work still carries on the same way and I spend most of my weekends at the bowling club.

Oh by the way did you vote? I didn't. I know I know - for shame but I was too busy actually trying to get news on other people voting that I neglected my own responsibilities. If I am honest though I wasn't really sure who I was going to vote for anyway. I mean my heart is still with the party but the leader is a bit of a stumbling block for me.
Were you ok with the party they threw on the Thursday? Blocking off one of your streets must really have pissed you off. That being said you have always been a bit of a slut for a good party. I hope you didn't sell yourself too much for all that Moet flowing all over the place.
Sweetie - this Nomakanjane thing is really starting get out of hand. While I was pretty chuffed - and I am sure you were - that the metro cops were getting stuck into those taxi drivers - don't you think six roadblocks on a public holiday is a little extreme? I mean one into Sandton and then one out of Sandton? I know a lot of people who had to give up a lot of cash so that they didn't have to sleep in jail.
The silly thing is that those roadblocks make even the innocent people nervous. I mean I was sober as a judge, have no outstanding tickets and my car license is up to date and I still had to change lanes into oncoming traffic and drive through a red robot to avoid one. Granted my mates were drinking beer like the bottle stores were running out but that's no excuse.
Anyway - we managed to out meneouvre the metro cops (yeah like that was hard) and ended up at Coca Cola stadium just in time for the rugby. While I was there I realised that it is true what people say - Coke really does make everything better - I mean I completely forgot that we were in Hillbrow and of course the racist Afrikaner kid - 10 years my junior- who was spouting racist terminology at the start of the game hardly even bothered me.
I ended up in Pretoria afterwards but needless to say your older sister lacks your beauty and charm.
I won't go back there in a hurry.
Well I am glad we had this catch up - thanks for taking it easy on the contact lense front.
One more thing. Are you ill because it feels like you are getting a bit (of a) cold?

Love ya!